If you know me, you know I am a true-crime junkie. Give me a complicated case, a documentary, questionable characters and a million unanswered questions and I am ALL IN.
So naturally, my latest obsession is Netflix’s Death of the Pastor’s Wife.
I still have one episode left, so I’m not even going to pretend I know how this whole thing ends. But after what I’ve watched so far…I NEED TO TALK ABOUT IT.
First of all, JP Miller. 🚩🚩🚩
One of the things that immediately bothered me was the history between JP and Mica. Mica’s family joined his church when she was just 13, and he became a major figure in her life while she was still young. Years later, when Mica was 20, the relationship between the two became romantic while JP was still married. They eventually both divorced their spouses and got married themselves.
And honestly? Knowing that history makes everything that comes later feel even more disturbing.
Then there are the sermons.
I’m sorry…WHAT?!
The documentary shows clips of JP preaching to his congregation about marriage, wives and their “responsibilities” to their husbands, including some incredibly disturbing comments about sex. I kept watching these clips thinking, How was he saying this from a pulpit in front of an entire congregation and everyone was just…sitting there?!
It’s one thing to hear about someone’s alleged controlling behavior. It’s another thing entirely to watch the person openly explain their beliefs on camera.
And then there’s the part that has made me the MOST frustrated: the system.
According to Mica’s family and the documentary, when Mica was trying to leave the marriage, JP was able to have her involuntarily hospitalized. While she was hospitalized, her family says JP took her phone, laptop and other belongings. The documentary also alleges that he later impersonated Mica online and used her accounts and devices to communicate with people.
HOW. WAS. THIS. ALLOWED. TO. HAPPEN?!
That is the part that has had me yelling at my TV.
Because this wasn’t just a bad marriage. The documentary paints a picture of someone trying to control nearly every part of Mica’s life — her relationships, her independence, her finances, her mental health and eventually even the narrative surrounding her.
And that’s what makes this story so heartbreaking.
Mica was clearly struggling and trying to get out of a relationship that her family describes as deeply controlling and abusive. Yet so many of the systems and people around her seemed unable to actually protect her.
Mica ultimately died by suicide in April 2024, just days after serving JP divorce papers. Her death was officially ruled a suicide, and JP has not been charged in connection with her death. He is, however, facing federal charges of cyberstalking and making false statements to investigators, which he has pleaded not guilty to.
And THAT distinction is important because there are still plenty of unanswered questions surrounding this story.
I haven’t watched the final episode yet, so I’m reserving my full judgment until I finish the series.
But so far?
This isn’t even just a true-crime story to me. It’s a story about control, manipulation, religion, mental health, domestic abuse and the ways people can fall through the cracks when they’re desperately trying to get away.
And honestly, that might be the most frustrating part of all.
I’ll be finishing that last episode ASAP because I have a feeling I’m going to have even MORE thoughts.
Did you watch Death of the Pastor’s Wife? Please tell me I’m not the only one who has been yelling at the TV.
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